


I had a dream I was your hero

by ABitchDoesNotADomMake



Series: Skye's iPod [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:20:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4095499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABitchDoesNotADomMake/pseuds/ABitchDoesNotADomMake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye lets her fears get the better of her.<br/>I Wish I Was Your Lover - Sophie B. Hawkins</p>
            </blockquote>





	I had a dream I was your hero

**Author's Note:**

> Story 4 in Skye's iPod Series

Skye stared up at the ceiling in her bunk, sleepless again, for the fourth night in a row. She was cycling between anger, embarrassment, and gratitude… Depending on the day, more or less. She was angry at Coulson at first for stopping her from killing Ward. Then she was embarrassed that he had seen her like that, so angry and evil and willing to use her powers that way. Ultimately, she was grateful to him for stopping her, because he was right. Killing Ward with her gift would probably have stripped away what control she had gained through sheer guilt. But none of those things were what was keeping her up at night. It was the look on Coulson’s face when he stopped her. She had seen that look before, but never aimed at her. It was a look he reserved for the Avengers, Cap especially. It looked like hero worship. And that was what was bothering her. She was afraid that him seeing her that way was going to kill what they had been working towards between them, and she just couldn’t talk to him about it.  
Ward had been sent off to a secure military prison – without going to medical first. Simmons wouldn’t work on him, and May wanted him dead or gone, and if gone hadn’t happened quickly, dead would have. Skye didn’t feel bad about sending him away in agony. She did feel bad that she might have disappointed Coulson by not showing more compassion, but Ward had a knife to Coulson’s throat, and a gun pointed at his HEAD. Skye could find no softer feeling for him than hate. She knew May approved of her actions, and she was pretty sure Simmons was a little disappointed that Skye hadn’t just killed Ward outright. Coulson had been patched up pretty easily, mostly just some minor bleeding and a lot of bruises. But his damaged arm was causing him a lot of pain again, and she was pretty sure that the painkillers that Simmons gave him were a little stronger than ibuprofen. He had been sleeping more than normal (at least she assumed he was sleeping locked up there in his bedroom) and she hadn’t seen much of him since the break-in. Coffee first thing in the morning when she checked in about whatever was being planned that day, and that was about it. That hurt about as much as her fears about his feelings. They had been gradually spending more and more time together, working quietly in his office every day, but she had been working mostly at the kitchen table since that night. After rolling over a half dozen more times, Skye gave up and got out of bed.   
Her quarters had a small living area, just a couple of chairs and a table, a bookshelf mostly filled with electronics of one sort or another, and a mini-fridge. Skye walked over and pulled a bottle of water out, and then went to her iPod dock and turned on her music quietly. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to get as little sleep as she was, so she kept the volume down to the point where she could just barely hear the bluesy tune coming from the small speakers. She sat in the mostly dark, just a faint blue glow coming from the shelf where the iPod say, putting her feet up on her little coffee table. This had always been a pattern with her, listening to the same song over and over again when she was in a mood, as the nuns had called her emotional ups and downs. The song changed depending on the particular situation, of course, but there was always some song that more or less completely fit. Her vast collection of 90’s chick-rock (as Miles had called it) was a good source of moody music. She tilted her head back, staring into the darkness as she listened to the lyrics… [Damn, I wish I was your lover I'll rock you till the daylight comes Make sure you are smilin' and warm I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother I will do such things to ease your pain Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed, oh, oh Open up on the inside, gonna fill you up, gonna make you cry…] Skye felt a tear trickle down her cheek into her hairline. She hadn’t realized she was crying, but it made sense to her. She was certain that the way she handled the situation with Ward had cost her any chance she had to build something strong and lasting with Coulson. Not that she could think of any other way she could have handled it, because she was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that anything Ward had said about letting Coulson live was complete bullshit. As soon as she agreed to leave with him, he would have shot Coulson dead as he pulled her out the door. She wouldn’t have been able to live knowing that she could have saved him, even if it meant losing him because of it. The poignant sound of Hawkins voice just emphasized that loss to Skye.  
By the third time through the song (tonight), Skye was curled up into a ball in her chair, sobbing almost silently with her face pressed against her arm. Her door was on the main route that everyone took to get to the kitchen, and she was trying to make sure that no one heard her as she wallowed in her broken-hearted state. As the song played the lyrics I had a dream, I was your hero her sobs grew louder; loud enough for her to miss the light knock on her door. She kept crying, not hearing the door push open slowly, not seeing Coulson step barefoot into her room. She couldn’t miss the part where he spoke her name as he knelt on the floor in front of her chair, however. Turning her head to look into his eyes she moaned and cried harder than before. Coulson reached his arm around her and pulled her gently to the floor with him, holding her close as he carefully slid his legs out from under him and pulled her into his lap, her head pressed against his chest. He held her as close as he could, rocking gently, his hand pressed to the side of her head, his less useful arm wrapped around her back as best he could manage. He held her silently, listening to her sobs as the quieted down, hearing the song start playing again in the darkness.   
“Skye, love, darling, what is it? Please talk to me” Coulson asked quietly. Lifting her head from the large damp spot on his t-shirt covered chest she looked up into his face, the soft blue light making his eyes stand out in the darkness. Tears still fell from her eyes, but she made no move to wipe them away, and Coulson sat still, holding his breath, hoping she would talk to him.  
“I am so sorry, Phil. I am so, so sorry.” He looked at her, finally taking his thumb and wiping a tear from her cheek. He shook his head and leaned in to kiss away the tear sliding down the other cheek.  
“Sorry for saving me? Sorry for what? I don’t understand, Skye.”  
“Sorry for ruining everything. I never meant… I didn’t want… I screwed it all up, and I am so sorry.”  
“I’m confused.” Coulson paused, searching for the right words. “What exactly do you think you screwed up?”  
“This. Us. You had to stop me, and you looked at me the way you did and now you see me differently and I’ve lost you and I can’t be sorry that I kept him from killing you and I don’t know what to do now.” The words came tumbling out breathlessly, punctuated by another deep sob at the end.  
Coulson sat silently, almost scared to reply. He took a deep breath, and put his hand on her chin, keeping his eyes focused on hers.  
“Skye, I have always seen you differently. You have always surprised and amazed me. You are strong and resilient and overwhelming, and you take my breath away. You always have. Every change just makes those feelings grow, Skye. I’m not sure what way you think I looked at you, but believe me when I tell you that you have NOT lost me. I am right here, love. I am not going anywhere. I love you Skye. That isn’t going to change. As for what to do now… You could kiss me, maybe?” He smirked just a little bit at her.  
Skye tilted her head, looking like she was thinking about it, and then leaned in, murmuring against his lips “I am a mess” before she pressed her lips firmly against his. Coulson pressed back, waiting for her to take the lead. Skye parted her lips just enough to run the tip of her tongue across his bottom lip, causing him to draw in a deep breath. When his mouth opened, she cautiously slid her tongue across his teeth, teasing him into kissing her back. After a few moments, she pulled back, resting her forehead against his.  
“Someday I am going to learn to stop underestimating you, Phil.” He pulled her lips back down to his as he whispered “I certainly hope so.”

 

That old dog has chained you up alright  
Give you everything you need  
To live inside a twisted cage  
Sleep beside an empty rage  
I had a dream, I was your hero

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
I'll rock you till the daylight comes  
Make sure you are smilin' and warm  
I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother  
I will do such things to ease your pain  
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed, oh, oh  
Open up on the inside, gonna fill you up, gonna make you cry

This monkey can't stand to see you black and blue  
Give you somethin' sweet each time  
You come inside my jungle book  
What is it just too good?  
Don't say you'll stay 'cause then you go away

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
I'll rock you till the daylight comes  
Make sure you are smilin' and warm  
I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother  
I will do such things to ease your pain  
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed

Shucks, for me there is no other  
You're the only shoe that fits  
I can't imagine I'll grow out of it  
Damn, I wish I was your lover

If I was your girl believe me  
I'd turn on the Rollin' Stones  
We could groove along and feel much better  
Let me in  
I could do it forever and ever and ever and ever

Give me an hour to kiss you  
Walk through Heaven's door I'm sure  
We don't need no doctor to feel much better  
Let me in  
Forever and ever and ever and ever

 

I sat on a mountainside with peace of mind  
And I lay by the ocean  
Makin' love to her with visions clear  
Walked the days with no one near  
And I return as chained and bound to you

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
I'll rock you till the daylight comes  
Make sure you are smilin' and warm  
I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother  
I will do such things to ease your pain  
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed

Shucks, for me there is no other  
You're the only shoe that fits  
I can't imagine, I'll grow out of it  
Damn, I wish I was your lover

Just open up I'm gonna come inside  
I wanna fill you up I wanna make you cry  
(Damn I wish I was your lover)  
Gettin' on the subway and I'm comin' uptown  
(Damn I wish I was your lover)  
Standin' on a street corner waitin' for my love to change  
(Damn I wish I was your lover)

Feelin' like a school boy, too shy and too young  
(Damn I wish I was your lover)  
Open up I wanna come inside, I wanna fill you up, I wanna make you cry  
(Damn I wish I was your lover)


End file.
